skip to content

Barry's Corner


August 2008

So, an issue that arose came via the classic type of question we get at CMHS all the time, which is: “Am I bipolar,” or “Am I depressed,” or even something like “I’m anorexic, aren’t I?” It is isn’t asking about these concerns, per se, that I want to highlight, it’s the way we ask about these concerns that leaves me concerned about how we may have all been trained to think about ourselves and any mental health struggles we may have.

Let me take the same type of question into the medical profession and maybe this will make my point. Do we ever ask our physicians, “Am I migraine,” or “Am I flu,” or even something like “I’m cancer, aren’t I?”

Makes the point, doesn’t it? Just sounds plain weird when put in those terms. I think we better serve ourselves when we hold onto who we are and what our core identities when working on mental health concerns. As are physical diseases, mental health concerns are best looked upon as something we “have” rather than something we “are.” Might we have depression, have bipolar disorder, or have anorexia rather than being it? Now you may say, wait a second, people say all the time “I am a cancer survivor.” What about that? I also hear folks say, “I am someone who survived cancer.” See the difference?

I have to say we mental health professionals have our own struggle with this same issue. We often say ourselves “I have my 3:00 p.m. bipolar” or “my anorexic is having trouble this week” and so on. This is a cautionary tale for us both then.

So why am I going on about this? The dealio, my peeps, is this: We must retain our strong and positive sense of self in the face of any mental health struggles. There are too many positive strengths we always possess, even when we are having our greatest struggles. If we have to be something, I would rather have folks say, “Am I confident,” or “Am I awesome,” or even something like “I’m creative, aren’t I?” Sounds better, I think! These are qualities on which to bank one’s core identity.

Alright, alright then. . . .not gonna beat this one into the ground. You get it, right? Just look at your language and how you refer to yourself and how much you use language that reinforces when mental health issues are you and when mental health issues are struggles you are having.

And sure, it will be easy perhaps for you to do the “Sheesh, enough with the quibbling over words already!” But we both know how important language is. Just think back to the last time someone said something nice about you or the last time someone said something that hurt your feelings. You’ll remember language is totally important to how we think and feel about ourselves.

As smart, accomplished, creative, friendly, energetic, astute, and all other positive qualities that define we UConn Huskies, the struggles we may have with mental health concerns are no fun, are painful and difficult, but in no way reduce nor becomes who we are. That’s it on this one. Roger, wilco, and out!

As with all my columns, I am completely open to further discussion about them. Just click here barry@uconn.edu and send me an email!

 
Helping Students in Distress
A Faculty & Staff Guide

Barry's Corner Archives